What part of “Please Do Not Touch” don’t you understand?

Why are some people, especially tourists, and especially people who are NEVER going to actually buy anything, so profoundly brain dead that they can apparently neither read nor understand a simple direction? Nor are they able to control their obsessive desire to TOUCH EVERYTHING? What do they THINK a leather sofa’s going to feel like? Or a cast bronze sculpture? Is it really necessary to clink it with your ragged fingernail? You have to know what it SOUNDS like? And you just must knock your knuckles on a wooden tabletop? Are you two years old? Worse, are you from France? And let’s not get into what you’re wearing. Bloss must avert the eyes.


3 responses to “What part of “Please Do Not Touch” don’t you understand?

  1. Wait…is this a serious blog entry??? This has got to be the most insulting thing I have read, and I am used to feeling insulted by the team at Moss. I am an interior designer who has chosen to boycott Moss primarily because of the ridiculous “do not touch” policies. How is a leather supposed to feel, you ask? How about like a natural product that varies based on grain, finish, and most importantly, quality? EVERY interior designer worth their salt investigates every aspect of a piece before specification, including TOUCH! Oh, and to point out another highly offensive comment, I once worked for a FRENCH interior designer in SoHo, and during this time I was jotting down a list of items we were planning to specify from Moss, when I was curtly and rudely told that there was a “no note-taking policy”. My reply? “Well, then I suppose we have a no-purchasing-anything-at-Moss policy!” Get a grip, people….

  2. If you had asked someone, we would have been happy to work with you, letting you touch, feel, hold, sit on, take notes, get tear sheets, just like a normal store. What we do not allow is random, promiscuous, pointless and destructive touching which leaves the work damaged, marked up, dirty or torn. The work on display is often one-off. Once it’s damaged, we can’t sell it. So we do not allow touching. The reasoning here is pretty simple. As for note taking, we are the immediate and constant go-to source for stores which are too lazy to go do their own research and just like to copy what we do. And also for students, who visit us by the hundreds, as if we were a course of study. We welcome the students to look, but not to stand in the way of people wanting to shop, taking endless notes. To all these people, we say no note-taking, and also no photographs, which you did not mention but which we also do not allow. And no food or beverages. And if you bring with you small children, you have to hold them and not let them run wild in the store. While they may simply be irritating to you, there’s a logic behind each of our restrictions. And they are very easy to deal with if you work with a sales associate, which is what they’re there for. Are you French yourself, perhaps?

  3. Hysterical — the whole thing.

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