Behind the Bloss: Scaffolding Conceals Moss’ Beautiful Face

Last week, Bloss watched in horror as a group of burly construction workers assembled monstrous scaffolding in front of Moss. The worst part? Well, how do you pick, from so many. Firstly, in whose world does burly = hot? Are there not some construction worker attractiveness standards? Isn’t that what unions are for? We’re not in Wisconsin here. As you may suspect, Bloss has standards and Bloss has expectations. And snuff this was not up to.

Then there would be the scaffolding itself. Now, it’s true that gorgeous scaffolding is not only oxymoronic, it’s plain old moronic. So from the time we learned of the imminent erection of the Moss Scaffolding Situation, as we refer to it, we were not looking too much forward. Does the phrase it is what it is mean anything? At least it’s high so it doesn’t cover our wonderful windows, and the big happy surprise was Burly came up with a plan to extend super long steel so there are no uprights in front of the store! Other than in front of the door, of course. So passersby (and especially passersby with cash) have an unobstructed view into Design Wonderland, but then have to squeeze past the steel to actually get inside. Bloss was tempted to complain. But then Bloss decided to make Lemonade.

And in that department, we’ve come up with some scaffolding specific ideas: Added horizontals outside do just provide us with extra space to hang our Christian Haas Ropes. Or perhaps we could encourage parents to let their kids play outside on the “monkey bars” instead of inside our store. (Does “Please do not touch” mean nothing?! Or “Small Children Must Be Held”? Do we need to say it in French? If you take our meaning…Merde.)

What we’re definitely doing is putting up plenty of Moss signs so that the SoHo passerby don’t miss us under that steel mess. So walk by us and pay us a visit, just don’t fall in. (For some reason our nether-regions are also exposed.)

Click through our the photos below to see our disfiguration. We just hope this doesn’t turn out to be a Joan Rivers plastic surgery situation…

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